Well. What can I say? The past month has been rather slack where my health and fitness is concerned. I have been feeling rather stressed and pressured at work as I am effectively doing 2 jobs at the minute.
Being a born worrier, I find it hard to switch my mind off at the best of times. When work is bothering me, then I turn into an insomniac.
Over the past few weeks, I have been surviving on 2-4 hours sleep a night. There are nights when I have had 7 hours sleep, but it's been broken sleep. We all know we need 8 hours sleep in order for our bodies to repair and rejuvenate.
As you can imagine, I am totally knackered. I have no motivation to do anything.
I have stopped doing my art work, haven't been to the gym, haven't been doing any exercise at home, and I have been comfort eating.
In addition, my medication for depression has now been increased as I could feel myself going into a downward spiral and I am being referred to the psychiatric liaison team as I have started to develop mild paranoia! I have put this down to the lack of communication at work, being kept out of the loop with things combined with the pressure I feel under at the minute. I guess I'm proving my blog title right, 'Cat lady goes crazy...' hahahahaha.
I guess a lot of you are feeling a little bit uncomfortable now because I'm talking about mental health. In particular, my mental health.
If you want to see me as a crazy person and no longer wish to be associated with me, that's fine. It's attitudes like that which we need to change.
It's 2012 and there is still an unbelievable amount of stigma around mental health.
I digress...
The low mood and feeling of being unworthy and feeling shitty about myself have taken me off my path of becoming fit and healthy. Everything seems to be too much effort and all I want to do is sit in bed watching tv (which is what I'm doing as I write this), and sleep. I hate feeling like this. It's a vicious cycle though. I can feel on top of the world one minute, and the smallest thing can happen and I come crashing down to earth with an almighty bang.
In a bid to try and drag myself out of it, I have ordered a lot of healthy food to be delivered from Asda the weekend, so I can at least get back on track with the healthy eating. I'm also planning on dusting the medicine ball and dumbells off too, but one step at a time huh?

The one thing I am pleased about though is that I am still only 12 stone 4lbs. Even though I'm having a tough time at the minute, I'm still managing to keep the stone I lost at bay.
I still have a target weight of 11 stone, and I will achieve it. I just need some motivation and encouragement I guess.
That's all from me tonight. Adios amigos.
P x